Kids Have Love Languages Too

If you have yet to read a book called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend picking up a copy or, quickly Google what the Five Love Languages are and get informed! When I first discovered this book, I was highly intrigued. The concept of the Five Love Languages is what helped couples take a step back, and recognize we receive and give love differently!

To give you a brief low down, the 5 love languages are:
  1. Physical Intimacy
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Quality Time
  4. Words of Affirmation
  5. Gifts
At one point in time, I would put on my little domesticated cap, and cook, clean, and give my husband massages to show him how much I loved him. These types of deeds are called “Acts of Service.” While he appreciated what I was doing for him, I learned later on his love language was quality time and mine was acts of service. He craved quality time from me while I craved acts of service from him!
It’s quite interesting how initially, I showed him I cared through acts of service , because that is my preferred method of receiving love. When in actuality, I need to consider how he prefers to receive my affections.

As my son’s personality began to shine around 9-10 months of age, the Holy Spirit revealed to me he thrived when I spent quality time with him! It dawned on me during a discussion with a parent who noticed his son would cry out for cuddles (a.k.a. physical intimacy), while my son did not care one bit for cuddles! Kids have love languages too!

I gotta thank Gary Chapman. This new revelation raised my parenting skills another notch! If I’m too occupied fixing dinner, and my guy is having one of his moments, I stop what I do, give him my UNDIVIDED ATTENTION for a couple of minutes and he is happy again.

If you are like me and have wondered why as a child you felt neglected, perhaps now you know why! I often struggled and begged my parents for quality time, and while they were able to give time sparingly, it wasn’t easy with 3 siblings fighting for their attention too.

On that note, your love language can change over time! I desired quality time at a young age, but as an adult, and having limited time to myself, it transitioned to acts of service.

Anyone, including your child will have more than one love language. This helped prioritize dispensing acts of love towards my son. On some days, it’s obvious through words of affirmation, his eyes cast a sparkle when I praise him saying, “Levi, you  make mommy so happy,” or, “you almost sang that entire song! Good job!”

I am praying for you, that God may bless you with revelation and guidance to become a better, more effective parent. To balance your time between taking care of your needs and taking care of your child’s, to love your children as God loved us so much he gave up his only son, Jesus Christ. Amen.

“…This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.”  John 15:9-10

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