Why I Changed My Mind about Marriage

Marriage was one of those dreadful words I never wanted to hear.

I was traumatized by my parent’s divorce which ended after 20 years of marriage. If a marriage of 20 years could end in a blink of an eye..what kind of chances did I have? After all, statistics show 50% of marriages ended in divorce. I had a 1 in 2 chance of having a successful marriage! I did not want to take the chance.

I wanted all the perks of being married, without the official marriage certificate. Each time my boyfriend (now husband), pushed the idea of marriage, I cringed to the point of tears. After the 3rd time of him expressing the need for marriage, he gave in to my wants. I remember his words…he said, “As long as I’m with you for the rest of my life, I don’t need marriage.” I was overcome by relief.

Then something happened.

There was a softening in my heart towards him. He showed me more patience, love, and kindness than any man I had ever met. He helped me move 3 times, he met my family (which can be a challenge), he was patient through my emotional roller coasters, and he went through couples counseling with me. I mean, if any of you know stubborn men against counseling, then you know you’ve got it good when a man is willing to air his business to a stranger.

I had a sudden change in heart. Here is this man who was willing to commit to me more so than husbands I knew.

Then I had another revelation. Why would I let my parent’s divorce DICTATE my future? This is the main reason why I changed my mind about marriage. I have the CHOICE AND POWER TO CHANGE MY FUTURE. 

“The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Here I was trying to plan what my future would look like, but the Lord has already established it in His word. It is against His will for us to live in a domestic partnership without marriage!

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

As humans, we cannot overcome God’s will. It is in our divine nature to live according to God’s word. And guess what? I released all expectations of marriage and made a commitment to my husband. I want to change how marriages should look. I want to have a successful, loving marriage with my future husband. I want to beat those stupid statistics! I took matters into my own hands and proposed to my husband.

It was one of the best decisions I’ve made.

If you’ve had a rough past dealing with divorce, either with your parents or with your past marriages, I’m here to encourage you, don’t let it hinder you from future relationships. Pray and seek God for healing. Pray for God’s will in your current marriage. What is it the Holy Spirit is asking you to do? Is it to shut your mouth? Is it to compromise on an issue? Is it to have that heart to heart discussion you’ve been meaning to have, but all you’ve done is build up resentment? Whatever it is, allow me to pray for your marriage today. Message me in the comments or send me a message.

Love, Patty